It’s rare to meet a person who intimately affects your life, let alone a second-grader whose innocence and kindness changes it indefinitely with a single glance.

During a semester here at Santa Rosa Junior College, I was really sad after coming out of a relationship and decided to volunteer at a local elementary school in town. Though unable to smile at the time, I mustered the courage to walk up to a representative to register for a mentoring position at an after school program.

Over the course of a few months, I became a regular at the school. One night while watching the kids do homework, I was called to help a group of three second-graders with their assignments. Two of them were energetic, outgoing and extremely talkative, but one of them remained quiet and thoughtful.

She seemed younger because of her size.

Her intense focus on her assignment puzzled me as the other kids asked for help.

She said nothing.

Then, with a somber and pulling gaze, she called me over to help her solve a math problem.

Throughout the interaction, one thing was clear; I no longer thought about myself or my sadness in any way. From the moment she asked for help, something came over me.

Though I can barely remember what happened next, from that point on I became clear-headed and aware. Her gaze and presence had encapsulated my problems and put them aside.

I was eager to help, and she was eager to listen. I showed her to add and subtract numbers using her fingers. She was confused by my technique and became very interested.

In many ways, this experience taught me how much helping other people, whether young or old, can change your perspective about yourself and life.

Whether you’re immersed in despair or feel empty and unhappy, helping another person profoundly helps you. It reminds you of your capacity to give, even when things seem bleak, and how much you can gain from shifting focus away from yourself and towards another person.

Some may call it a random act of kindness, but upon further thought, it’s about realizing that you’re part of a larger whole and remembering you aren’t alone even when you think you are. It might take a second-grader to remind you of it, but you first have to reach out and help.

As Mark Twain put it, “the best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”