Hello. I’m a fiery, independent woman. I just thought I ought to make that clear to you. You know, because most women are spineless and weak, rare domestic flowers who wouldn’t dare put themselves and their opinions in the public sphere.

The above is some of the most utterly ridiculous rubbish to ever leave the tips of my fingers, let alone pass my lips. And I’ve spouted some nonsensicalities. But you wouldn’t know by listening to the men around me. Over the course of my life I’ve been described as fiery, feisty, a firecracker (is it the red hair?), scrappy, spunky, spirited, passionate and another 20 synonyms I won’t waste your time with.

Our culture bandies about the phrase “independent woman” so much, you’d think we still weren’t allowed to own property. When was the last time you heard the phrase “independent man?” What about the phrase “strong man?” I’m going to guess the last time you heard someone described as a strong man you were watching a bodybuilding competition, and I don’t think I’ve heard the phrase “independent man” in my life. Yet “strong, independent woman” is used to describe everyone from Beyoncé to Madeleine Albright. And when I voice my irritation with these descriptors, I’m so often told that they’re only used because I’m a rarity. Because most women aren’t like that.

If you run around living your life in the seeming absence of “independent” women, it’s probably because you’re not taking the time to engage them on a meaningful level. Or perhaps the vapidity and foolishness of the women with whom you surround yourself reflects your own vapidity and foolishness. After all, aren’t our friends a reflection of ourselves? Aren’t our romantic partners? I’ve never found there to be a dearth of women with opinions in this world. I can’t think of a single one of my friends without one.

Yet men continue to patronize women for expressing their opinions, even at the highest levels of government. When California Sen. Dianne Feinstein replied to a question about gun control from one Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas at a recent Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on the proposed assault weapons ban authored by Sen. Feinstein, he responded with “I respect your passion, but…”

Well it’s good to know that Sen. Cruz respects the “passion” of a woman 37 years his senior with 20 more years of Senate experience and 44 more years of experience as an elected public official. Sen. Feinstein was the mayor of San Francisco when Sen. Cruz was 8 years old.

I can’t remember the last time I argued with a man who didn’t have one of those little smiles on his face.

I’m not proud of my temper. It’s not something to celebrate and shout from the rooftops, but it is almost impossible for me to convey my frustration with the fact that it’s still amusing to men in the 21st century that I have an opinion.

I am woman. Hear me roar. And stop calling me feisty or I’ll kick you in the balls.