Valentine’s Day, the yearly reason to stay home from school, continues to humiliate students well into middle school. Then suddenly, the notion of asking for affection via a card is no longer a class activity. As we mature, the meaning of Valentine’s Day changes and ceases to be a contest among classmates, changing into a romantic ideal where we seek, sometimes awkwardly, to woo someone special.

For guys, instruction on how to perform said wooing comes from a variety of sources, including watching our fathers, TV and movies. Movies make us believe there is no such thing as too much. There are never too many roses, no box of chocolates too big or a diamond too large. Movies tell us 100 lit candles is a good start, that poetry should be our hello, a limousine our chariot and that a private table with a view is a must.

All this presents a unique set of obstacles for us mere mortals, as men typically find it unnatural to buy flowers, cards, chocolates or stuffed animals. We don’t even think in candlelight terms. We typically only have one day a year to practice buying and organizing these things, which we never think of the rest of the year.

Combine this unfamiliarity with the intense emotional state, the demand that all go smoothly, with reservations in a nice restaurant and a clean shirt and this holiday is nearly doomed from the beginning.

On the other hand, should we fail to impress our valentine she’ll be disappointed or depressed. Side effects may include painful break ups, icy stares or heavy bouts of crying.

In love? Then you probably don’t need a holiday to tell you what to buy or how to feel. If you don’t have love, here’s a holiday to rub it in.

I doubt anyone set out to create a holiday that alienates youth or challenges adults, yet Valentine’s Day accomplishes both.

I say face the long lines at the candy shops, purchase your stuffed animals and flowers, spend big on the jewelry that explains how you feel and brave the wait for a nice table. However, do so only if your heart tells you to and not because powerful media campaigns persuaded you into acquiring all the traditional trappings of Valentine’s Day.

I humbly remind you, big business has led us down the path of abundant spending.  It is an industry that cannot possibly speak of love, as it loves only our dollar. In these times, spending more on ideas not our own for a romantic holiday that may well be anything but, is not in our best interests as it is emotionally rough on most of us and financially challenging for all of us.

Let us embrace and emphasize the point of this holiday, a sincere focus on the ones we love in a way that brings respect and joy to us all.