Laden down with a salad, crispy chicken tenders and a large burger, I approached a family of four’s table. My smile faded when I realized the people didn’t even notice me standing there. Both children were glued to their iPads with mom and dad buried deep into their smart phones. I had to say excuse me twice to get their attention. As their minds sloshed from the murk of technology, it took them a few moments to remember why they were there in the first place.
The parents argued with the children to get the iPads out of their protesting hands. They made a deal: if they ate all their deep-fried food, smothered in ranch dressing, they could go home and watch their favorite show.
I looked around to all the other tables surrounding me. Instead of being lost in each other’s eyes, couples fidgeted with their phones. Families were oblivious to the world, caught up in gadgets.
Have we become so dependent on immediate connection or entertainment that we need the instant gratification of holding that electronic device?
We seem to be losing the ability to talk directly to another person sitting in front of us. Even the words that we speak and write are starting to sound like text messages: short inconclusive thoughts. I find this lack of full thoughts and intelligent communication disturbing. As a young adult and aspiring writer I am worried about future generations and their inexplicable need to be attached at all times.
Sherry Turtle, a psychologist and M.I.T. professor, is the author of “Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other.” In a New York Times article called “The Flight From Conversation” Turkle exposed the harsh reality of how cell phones have impacted our lives. “At home, families sit together, texting and reading e-mail. At work, executives text during board meetings. We text (and shop and go on Facebook) during classes and when we’re on dates. My students tell me about an important new skill: it involves maintaining eye contact with someone while you text someone else; it’s hard, but it can be done.”
Even though we know no one has called, emailed, messaged or repined us, we click that button to unlock our phone just in case. It’s not even intentional anymore; we subconsciously must be connected to the outside world at all times. This yearning we have to have our phone in hand is controlling us, and shaping how we interact with others.
Studies show that cell phone use stimulates the pleasure center of the brain triggering endorphins. A website called cellphoneaddicts.org explains the overwhelming need for cell phones we have today and how they are taking over our lives. A Pew Research Center report found that 83 percent of Americans were cell phone users in 2011. Cell phones may be a part of us that will not and cannot change, but do we have to let them manipulate us?
“Human relationships are rich; they’re messy and demanding,” Turtle writes. “We have learned the habit of cleaning them up with technology. And the move from conversation to connection is part of this. But it’s a process in which we shortchange ourselves. Worse, it seems that over time we stop caring, we forget that there is a difference.”
Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter and all of the apps and games are slowly dismantling our ability to connect with one another. What will our conversations look like when we start wearing the “Google Goggles” and are lost in the internet that is attached to our faces? Will we wake up then or slowly spiral down until we forget how to make genuine human contact?