Holiday movies are some of the cruelest mockeries of reality ever created. The happy family overcoming their usual petty squabbles to gather around a delicious meal and exchange heartfelt mush is a lie. Who the hell does that?

My family doesn’t put aside our issues during the holidays. We get worse. The added pressure to spend time together and be in the holiday spirit just makes everything that much more tense. If we’re not on the verge of an argument, somebody is almost in tears over memories of family members who aren’t with us, either because they died too young or they’re so pissed off they won’t talk to the rest of us anymore.

Most people seem to have some version of this family dynamic. The issue is, that if you met somebody obnoxious in a class or at work, you wouldn’t have to spend the most stressful days of the year in their company. If your family sucks, you still have to see them. Trying to take time to relax and actually enjoy the day off is seen as being lazy, or unwilling to share in the family togetherness.

Hell yes, I’m unwilling to share in that nonsense. I’m in classes all week and have plenty of crap to deal with, I don’t need to take a day so close to the end of the semester to engage in family squabbles and dramatics.
If I go to Thanksgiving dinner, I can’t mention my dead mom, because Grandpa will get depressed. I can’t talk about my relationship, because my Grandma is having fits over me getting a civil ceremony and waiting to have a white wedding until it won’t bankrupt me. If I talk about my brother, everyone will want to know why he’s eating with the other side of the family, and if he’s still dating that nice girl. My 17 year old cousin will pitch a couple fits about random teenager bullshit, and there will be yelling and sulking from that.

There will be interrogations. Why can’t people just be happy to see each other? Do we have to question each other about every tiny, unimportant thing so we can criticize it to everyone else later? Who the hell cares if Aunt whoever made a mistake 20 years ago? My family clings to their grudges. You screw up once, and they will never, ever let you forget it.

There will be at least one drunk person being creepy for the entire night, and of course nobody will try to stop him (or her)from drinking any more. We’d rather discuss some other people’s problems than actually address the issues in front of our faces, even if ignoring it only makes it worse.

I’m going to spend Thanksgiving at home with my fiance, eating KFC ‘s incredible and easy Thanksgiving special with biscuits and fried turkey, which is awesome by the way. I’m not going to stress over family drama. I’m not going to worry about avoiding the subject of any dead people, only to have somebody bring it up later after he’s (or she’s) been drinking. I’m not going to pretend to be happy to see someone who has been a jerk to the whole family for years, but suddenly deigned to grace us with his presence again after obtaining a quick divorce and a drinking problem.

I will be at my house, hugging my pet rabbit, cuddling on the couch with my man. There will be no additional stress, and no tiptoeing around a bunch of people who half the time seem to belong in an asylum. I love the crazies, but I just want to relax and enjoy the time off. I’ll deal with that nonsense at Christmas, when I don’t have classes to worry about.