Aries: Embark upon a journey to be yourself and enhance what you believe are your odd characteristics. People are attracted to honesty. Be real and like-minded people will draw to you.
Taurus: You might think you are scantily clad, but rather you are miserable. Drinking a 40-ounce in the park is not dainty and it will not bring you freedom.
Gemini: Contemplation is satisfying but action is what you’re looking for. Put on your fancy clothes and do what you’ve been thinking of − even if your therapist would advise otherwise.
Cancer: You’re not losing it; you’ve already lost it. You might not even know you’re in outer space until you can’t find a place to park your starship.
Leo: Life’s a bowl of alphabet soup until you choke on the D. Don’t kill yourself trying to please others.
Virgo: Smoke on the water just means that your boat is on fire. Jump off and swim or learn to fly. But either way, keep the kids away from the kerosene next time.
Libra: Unless you want our next president running around the White House saying, “You’re fired,” vote responsibly. Or stop complaining about politics because people who complain and don’t vote are the problem.
Scorpio: Cuddling with your pet may seem like a good use of time, but when deadline day comes, your cat’s typing skills aren’t as funny as they were last week.
Sagittarius: Smoking cigarettes is bad for your health, but so is getting your knickers in a twist. Quit your bad habits tomorrow, today is for focusing on the breeze.
Capricorn: Insomnia will drive a person mad and it appears to have taken ahold of you. Figure out what’s keeping you up at night because you are living on the dark side.
Aquarius: Straight outta wherever you came from is where you learned to be you. Don’t forget your roots while branching into the future.
Pisces: Let your personality shine and don’t worry, it won’t contribute to climate change. But think about how you could protect our environment, and help it shine too.